Thursday, May 3, 2012

you're full of shit (or not you're usual day at the office)

Ok when I was attending cafe owners training school (does such a thing even exist?) I'm sure this question never came up:

Q)  What happens if you are up to your armpits in shit plunging out your blocked toilet, and you 'accidentally' flood the adjoining neighbours bathroom with raw sewage as a result?

See, if someone actually asked that question, I'm sure that I would've been listening, coz:

a)  It's such an implausible question that it's never likely to be asked, and 

b)  I'd be keen to hear the answer, I mean really, really keen!

Why? You ask?  Well I'm pleased to say that I can tell you as I found out first hand just yesterday!

It happened like this

Firstly my plumber stopped by the cafe for a coffee in the morning, which is a fairly rare occurrence, say every six months or so, and then only when he has a job on in the area

And secondly my toilets backed up shortly thereafter - which has been a fairly regular occurrence of recent, but usually I can take care of it myself with some fairly routine maintenance, but not yesterday morning

So after an hour or more of plunging and cleaning, I call my plumber, and he sends around a couple of his trusty workers

Unfortunately though, the cafe occupies a split tenancy, with a residence located next door, and we both share the same water line out, leading to a boundary trap located in the enclosed rear courtyard of their property

And because the neighbours weren't home we weren't able to access the 'riser' to pump the line clean

So we set to work on plunging my mop bucket sink (which is on the same water line) instead, with some fairly industrial equipment, which seemed to eleviate but not eradicate the problem of the blocked loos, and the plumbers left vowing to return first thing in the morning when they could access the neighbour's back yard, and do the job properly

Which was all good and well until my neighbour arrived and said, "Do you realise that my bathroom floor is covered in raw sewage? You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Now I'm not saying that my neighbour is gay or anything and it wouldn't matter if he was but he is, er, meticulous with his appearance, and I have no reason to doubt that his designer apartment is anything less than spanking

Well I soon had reason to find out as I inspected the damage in the bluestone tile lined bathroom, resplendent with red chandelier and matching 'hot lips' red painted WC - and I wont go into too much detail here except to say that I was glad that I was not the one who had to clean it!

After all it was those pesky plumbers always wanting to pump something who had saturated the neighbours bathroom - not me!

So I few quick phone calls latter and the plumbers came running and I have to say that they did a great job of identifying the problem (shifting foundation in the back yard moves pipes and casuses blockage due to the expansion and contraction of soil underneath) - and rectifying it - line feed mechanical coil to unblock the pipes and trace the cause and location of the blockage

Perhaps less so their cleaning abilities - as I pointedly asked, 

"Have you guys cleaned up inside and is there anything in there that I need to take care of?"

To which they pointedly replied,

"Nah mate, job's right!"

Well... I thought I'd better check the bathroom anyway to make sure that it was clean and let me just say that it was not, and leave it at that, eh?

Needless to say I was more than a bit apprehensive when the guys from next door (who'd left me with their keys when they went out so that the plumber could have access), came in the next morning, and I was expecting the fiery worst...

So I could't have been more surprised to be told that the bathroom was spotless and probably wouldn't need another clean for a month! (Actually, considering how much effort I put in cleaning it in the first place it shouldn't have been a surprise at all but you know me - I hate to disappoint!) 

Anyway, job's done right mate finally by me in the end - and it's a big relief, I can tell you - thank god there's always great coffee waiting at the end of the rainbow!

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